


The Deadly Feline

by Nowaki



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/F, Found Family, aliens learn about cats, not super shippy, the team gets a cat, they learn very little real info, which is to say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 20:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11111931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nowaki/pseuds/Nowaki
Summary: "What else did you do?""Have you ever seen a cat?"-Sara steals a kitten from the Nexus for her brother after Sid had them taken out of cryo. Vetra, and the other alien crew members, learn about cats through unreliable means.





	The Deadly Feline

"What else did you do?" Vetra hissed into her mic. She was beyond upset with her sister, but Sara had insisted that she try to be understanding. It wasn't like Sid did anything selfish when she'd pretended to be Vetra. Everything she'd done had been for someone else's benefit.

Sid just wanted to help people. Maybe she should be proud?

"Well, there is one last thing. Have you ever seen a cat?"

Vetra could tell by the tone of her sister's voice that she was not going to like this one bit.

"They're from Earth. They're super fluffy and they have little toe beans and-"

"What is their function?" Vetra interrupted.

"Ah, well, they're cute."

"Seriously, Sid?" She asked, unable to hide the disappointment in her tone.

"I've only ever seen pictures, so I got someone on the Nexus to bring one out of cryo."

A giggle interrupted Vetra before she could scold her sister further. She glanced back at Sara, who was trying to stifle her laughter.

"Is that Ryder? Has she ever seen a cat? Oh, ask her if they really do exist in both liquid and solid states of matter! And do humans really worship them? Actually, can I just talk to her? I have so many questions."

Vetra watched her double over in laughter out of the corner of her eye.

"I'll talk to you later. In the meantime, don't do anything else okay?"

"Fine, but I call dibs on being the first Turian cat owner!"

"Goodbye, Sid." Vetra sighed, disconnecting.

"I hope your sister knows that nobody owns a cat. They more or less own us."

"I thought humans were the dominant species on Earth?"

"Nope. It's cats." Sara said, taping away at her omni-tool. "We had a cat named Duchess. She was evil."

An image flickered to life between them, a picture of the twins in their youth. Scott was cradling the scuff of fur with a smirk while Sara pouted. The scars beneath her eye were fresh in the picture, as though they'd just been carved into her flesh.

"Was Duchess responsible for those scars?" Vetra asked, reaching out to trace the almost completely faded marks. She hadn't noticed them until their first ground mission together. The lights in the bay were too dim for such details, although once she knew they were there, they were easier to make out.

"Yep. Don't tell anybody else."

"I look forward to meeting one of these fearsome creatures."

Sara just laughed.

 

"Do we really need another pet?" Kallo asked, glaring at the kitten in Ryder's arms. Vetra hadn't gotten a very close look at it, but she couldn't imagine why Kallo was throwing such a fit.

In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she felt it resembled him. The ginger fur was a warm color, like the red of the pilot's skin, and the pointy ear structures on its head were quite Salarian-like.

"Come on, Kallo, this little guy's just too precious to leave behind." Sara replied, cuddling it closer. "Besides, I saved him from the lab. They wanted to run experiments on him."

"And for good reason. They're an invasive species." He argued. "That's why they were banned on the Citadel."

"We'll have to make sure no one on board is allergic." Lexi commented, stroking it under the chin. "It is quite cute though."

"Why couldn't it be a puppy?" Liam asked.

"I'm more of a dog person myself," Sara admitted, covering the kitten's ears as if this news would offend it. "But Scott's going to be thrilled."

"I'm more of a bear person," Gil said casually over the com, making Liam snort. The joke was lost on the non-humans, but Kallo shook his head disapprovingly, as he did every time Gil spoke.

"Okay, well, I'm going to take this little guy back to my cabin. See ya later." Ryder said, swaddling the kitten into her hoodie and fleeing as if that were the end of the discussion.

Liam wandered off the bridge as well, just as Suvi arrived.

"Did I miss something?" The co-pilot asked, no doubt curious as to why so many people were on the bridge.

"Ryder has brought a cat onboard."

Suvi's eyes lit up. "I've never had a cat before!"

Vetra left halfway through Kallo's rant on how the feline was a "plague" upon planet Earth.

 

"So, we all allowed to bring home pets or do you think it's strictly a pathfinder privilege? Thinking 'bout installing some fish tanks." Liam joked that evening in the cargo bay.

"Good plan. That way we'll always have fresh seafood." Drack answered from the balcony above. Vetra couldn't help but laugh at the face Liam made.

"On second thought, the cat would just murder them all."

"Looked like a real ferocious predator to me." Drack said dryly, making Vetra crack up as well. It certainly hadn't look all that intimidating. 

"Hey now, don't say that too loud. It could be listening." Liam hissed.

"Kid, I'm not scared of anything smaller than a pyjak."

"You would be if you valued your life." Cora warned him, giving Vetra pause. "Let's all hope Ryder keeps her room locked at night. They can push doors open."

Vetra made a mental note to ask Sam just how strong the beast was.

 

"Show me." Peebee demanded, crossing her arms and glaring at the closed door to the pathfinder's room.

"It's his first night. He needs to settle in."

"Ryder," Peebee whined. She looked to Vetra for support.

"Hey, Ryder, it's me." Vetra called. "Is your room under quarantine?"

"No. One minute."

The doors slid open a moment later. The kitten struggled in Ryder's arms.

"What a handsome boy," Peebee cooed, strutting inside. The cat looked at her in wonder. "Can I hold him?"

"Fine, but be careful. He's a real handful." Sara sighed, allowing Peebee to scoop the creature out of her arms.

"Don't worry, this isn't the first pussy I've handled." Peebee said with a laugh. Ryder rolled her eyes before turning her attention on Vetra. 

"Sorry I disappeared earlier. Scott wanted to see the cats, but he isn't able to leave Meridian yet."

"So, you smuggled a kitten out of the labs to bring him." It wasn't a question, but Sara nodded anyway.

"What's his name?" Peebee asked.

Sara shrugged. "I'm just holding onto him until Scott's better."

"That shouldn't take too long." Vetra said reassuringly.

"In the meantime, we have to call him something." Peebee insisted, handing the furball back to Ryder. "If you don't think of something, Gil's calling for a vote. Wants to name him Scott Junior."

Sara laughed and told the Asari goodnight. Vetra's eyes were trained on the kitten.

"Would you like to hold him?"

"No thanks. I'd probably end up dropping it."

The kitten hissed.

"Sorry, it's been a long day." Sara explained, dropping it onto her bed. The kitten hopped down and scampered away. "Tomorrow we'll reach Kadaras. There's a couple guys growing a plant there that I think could help someone on Eos. To be honest, I have no idea if it's going to work but what the heck? Why not become an inter-galactic drug dealer?"

Vetra rubbed her shoulders. "You don't have to run errands for everyone."

"It's the least I can do. Something about the Initiative has to work out." She ended on a breathy sigh as Vetra dug her claws into her back.

"What? Saving everyone from the Archon wasn't enough for you?" She asked, leaning down to bury her face in Ryder's hair.

"Shit."

"What?"

"The cat is pooping in my plant."

The remaining hours before bed were spent fussing over the kitten and making sure it learned where the "liter box" was. As Vetra watched the ship's newest passenger steal Ryder's attention completely, she realized that the humans hadn't been exaggerating. Cats were in fact evil.

 

"Puss in boots," Suvi suggested.

"No."

"Thomasina?"

"What? No."

"Milo?"

Sara thought it over for a moment. "I'll suggest it to Scott."

Suvi cheered.

"We'll be reaching Kadara Port momentarily." Kallo announced.

"Is it possible to land closer to the colony? I'd rather not have to go running through the slums." Sara muttered.

"Ryder, you of all people should know how hard it is to find anywhere decent on Kadara to park."

"Hey, that was one time, and for the record, no one told me there was a parking brake."

"Must we really land at all?" Jaal asked, making a face.

"No one is making you leave the Tempest."

"I prefer Kadara to a near empty ship."

"Why don't you babysit Ryder's pussy? That should keep you entertained!" Peebee shouted from the escape pod.

"I don't think that translated."

"Peebs, not the time. Jaal, would you be more comfortable with the cat?"

The Angarian thought it over for a moment before agreeing.

"You on go ahead, I'll introduce him to the demon." Vetra offered. Ryder had already mentioned she was bringing Lexi along to access the plants, which meant Drack was going to insist he be part of the landing party. They didn't need Vetra tagging along.

"Okay, see ya later."

 

The cat loved Jaal instantly.

The creature seemed undisturbed by the alien species, though they were all probably alien to the kitten. Either way, it warmed up to him easily.

"I expected it's fur to feel like human hair but it's much softer." He said as it affectionately rubbed against his leg.

"Be careful. If it rolls over and looks like it wants it's belly rubbed, don't do it. Just trust me." Vetra hadn't seen the claws until it was too late.

"Cora said they have nine lives. I wonder if she meant it in the Angarian sense or if their soul remains in their body?"

"I'm not sure. The first human Spectre came back from the dead so maybe it's an Earth thing."

"I was also told they always land on their feet."

"And they were worshiped by humans."

"They can squeeze their way into anything."

"They can enter and leave a room without making a sound."

"I wonder how big he will get?" Jaal asked.

"The largest of the big cats is the Siberian Tiger, which weighs about four-hundred-and-twenty-three kilograms." SAM explained from his dock. "Would you like me to send a photograph to your Omni-tool, Vetra?"

"Sure."

Jaal looked over her shoulder at the image of a giant cat on its hind legs, towering over a human.

They both looked at the kitten curling itself around his leg.

"I will do my best to make friends with it while it is still small."

 

It head-butted like a Korgan.

It's fur was a lot softer than a Korgan's head plate, but the kitten still attacked her in full force.

Jaal thought it was charming. He would stick his fist out like Liam did to Gil after a round of poker, and, just as their engineer did, the cat struck it without hesitation.

He was the first one the cat allowed to touch its stomach. Sara pretended not to be jealous but Vetra saw right through her.

"The cat reminds me of him." Vetra told her one night. "I think it's the nose, but the ears kinda look like those folds the Angara have too. The eyes are almost the same color too, but Cora said they'd change."

"They'll look more Turian like." Sara replied. "He actually kinda reminds me of you."

"Me?" Her mandibles flicked.

"Well yeah," Ryder laughed, "it's the face shape and cats are really grouchy. This guy might end being a better Turian than you are."

Vetra laughed, "so, he doesn't really remind you of me?"

"No, he does! You both like to cuddle me, especially when you're tired. You never put up with anything, unless you're exhausted but even then, you both glare. Cats also aren't very social but they can also be really sweet. They are also notorious for trying to feed their humans."

Vetra chuckled and put her arms around Ryder.

"You're both excellent at distracting me."

"I do take pride in not letting you get any work done." She teased, pressing her claws into Ryder's skin the same way that the cat did on occasion. Sara giggled, but she didn't pull away.

"It's a good thing we took care of the Archon before adopting the furball. I don't think we would have even made it to Meridian if I had both a kitten and a girlfriend onboard."

"Doubtful. I don't think there's anything you can't do."

"Whatever, look at this!" She wandered across the room and scooped the cat up into her arms before returning. 

"See the markings on his head? They almost look like face paint!"

"I suppose they do." Vetra agreed, although they didn't look like any she'd ever seen.

"And Ollie loves me." Sara joked as the cat struggled to escape her grip. 

"You named him?"

"Don't tell Scottie, but I started calling him Oliver."

"I see."

"It was Cora's suggestion. It felt strange not to call him anything."

"Are you sure you want to hand him over to Scott at all?"

As soon as he was released, Oliver trotted over to her bed and raked his claws down the frame post.

"Well, my brother will probably be joining us, so it's not like he'll be going very far. I won't mind having Ollie sleep in another room if it spares my furniture."

"I dunno. I think I might miss waking up to his creepy staring."

"At least he's just staring. The other day, he tried grooming me."

"That's because you're his favorite." Vetra teased.

"Oh, I don't think cats have favorites. Just people they hate less." Sara joked.

"He loves you. We both love you." 

Sara's cheeks turned pink and Vetra felt the kitten brush against their legs. Maybe her sister's lone selfish decision wasn't so bad, she thought, reaching down to scratch behind Oliver's ears. A rumbling sound, much like that of an old motor, began in his chest.

She'd heard him make the sound for others, but it was the first time that she'd felt the engine firsthand.

"Aw, he's purring." Sara cooed, dropping down to a knee so that she could share in the beast's affection.

"He is kind of cute," she admitted. "At least, for now. I don't know how you'll find room for both him and Scott, once he's full grown."

"What do you mean? He'll have enough room, wherever Scott decides to live."

Vetra's mandibles twitched.

"What?"

"I just thought cats must need quite a bit of room, given how large they are."

Sara gave her a strange look.

"Well?"

"Have you never seen an adult cat before?"

"SAM sent me a photo," Vetra replied, pulling the image up on her Omni-tool.

"That's a tiger." She laughed. "House cats aren't even a fourth the size of a tiger."

"Oh," Vetra sighed. "I guess I better tell Jaal and Drack that their plan to ride the giant cat into battle isn't going to work out."

"Actually, let's let them figure that out for themselves."


End file.
